June 16

Who says you need to be something at 18, or at any age at all. Who says you need to sit a little straighter, laugh a little quieter, think a little further, and work a little harder just because you're at a specific age. Age is a concept people created. Youth is what we feel, and if we believe that feeling enough to let it engulf us, we become what we feel.

In Two Weeks

In two weeks you leave,

on a plane to somewhere my hands too short to reach.

In two weeks, I shall completely let you go.

I shall move on because you are no longer mine for the taking.

You were never mine to own.

In these two weeks I shall mourn,

for my heart is in pain,

but I know it is about to take a new shape.

A stronger one, a liberating one.

I shall spend the best last moments with you,

and cherish it and keep it close to me.

For you are different, you are something.

And after you are gone,

I shall miss you from time to time,

and my heart shall call out to you,

and I shall reminisce the afternoons we spent together.

I shall remember you as someone who came into my life

and taught me things I never thought were possible.

After two weeks, I shall look over to my side,

and hope that you are there,

and know that you are not,

but I shall not feel any pain.

Only longing, that shall fade with time,

only to leave behind great memories,

and that is what I shall always feel 

when I look at the empty seat beside me.

And after all that, I shall wish you the best,

with every ounce of sincerity in me.

So that both of us can live a great life,

to tell each other when we meet,

like no one ever left and time never passed.

In the meantime, I shall keep you closer.

I shall make up for my wrongdoings,

and forgive yours.

I shall let my heart breathe, slowly.

I shall see clearer, 

and know that everything that is happening,

is for the better.

In the end, you'll just be another boy I've loved before.

May 11

I crashed a car.

One day after I got my driving licence.

I freaking crashed a car.

Way to go, Celine, way to go.

I hit the pavement, hard.

It was near evening, sun was setting.

The rays were piercing, I couldn't see.

Everything was a blur.

I was wondering why the other car was going the other way, and next thing I know, bam!

I felt everything falling down on me.

It's like in that flash of a moment you think you're going to die, pictures of horrible car accidents flashing through your mind, but you're not. You're alive. I'm alive. The car was still moving.

I felt helpless, I felt extremely scared and disturbed, I wanted to just cry and be at home.

My friend was calm af, ahaha.

I pulled the car over at the next block.

I came to my senses, the dashboard came out. Damn.

We got a flat tire, and something broke beneath the car. The pavement soon to be a mess of brake fluid.

My friend called her mum, and through her network she got some people to help us.

Everything went by quickly, and I was home safely next.

I'm thankful I'm safe, not even a tad bit injured.

I'm thankful. 

This experience shall make me a better driver, I guess.

Thank God. 

May 08

I've come a point where I'm tired and I don't really care about the fact that my life can coincide with a lot of people. I'm done worrying about how others see me. No more questioning myself if I'm living someone else's life. The people who matter don't mind. In the end, it's still my life. Go big, or go home. 

Fourth Week.

Four weeks in college.

Time never flew so fast before.

Tuesday and I'm already complaining. 

It felt like yesterday,

getting lost in the hallways,

trying out cafeteria food,

taking every overwhelming bit of change in,

and now I'm eased in.

Four weeks in college,

a lot of things are happening.

Apart from quizzes, projects, and assignments all is well.

I hardly have the time to myself.

I hardly have the time to sit back without worrying about the next project,

or the next test, or the next stressful thing that's going to happen.

I guess that's college life.

Four weeks in college.

I've learned to pick my circles.

To keep my guard up, my walls higher.

I've learned that my life shouldn't be an exhibition.

It's not a gallery. 

It's not for anyone to enter.

Not everyone can connect my dots.

Four weeks in college.

I'm transitioning between the lines of old and new.

I've learned that if you want something, go and get it.

Sometimes I refuse to believe,

I refuse to question why I'm here.

What am I doing?

Why? For what?

Deep down I know I can be a part of something bigger.

I believe I am a part of something big.

We all are.

Four weeks in college,

the fifth is on it's way.

There are more weeks to come,

and more to go.

What is prominent and essential will always work out.

At least that's what I believe in.

Always have faith,

Love, C.

Preach.

Never settle for the least. Never settle for just the company, the reassurance, and the safety. 

Never negotiate with your feelings, and take the cheaper. 

What you want, who you are and who you want to become, you know that, then manifest in that. 

If you are happy with who you are, then be you. Just keep being you. 

Never settle for someone who's perfect in your eyes but only your flaws in theirs. 

Never fall for someone who weighs your rights and wrongs. 

Love someone who loves you more than they love themselves, someone who will accept you for who you are. 

Someone who traces your scars, and breathes you in deep like a work of art. 

Never give yourself up, and in to someone who will eventually change you into someone you're not. 

Set your priorities straight, your mind, life and well-being comes first no matter what. 

You are the painter and the art. You are the sculptor and the sculpture. You have every right to choose what you want for yourself, and don't ever let anyone take that away from you. 

People will understand who you are, and those who don't don't really know who you are then. 

Never throw yourself at people. Believe in the "meant-to-be"s. Keep your head up and high. Settle for the best, settle for the "all bites and no barks", settle for pure happiness and joy and love and butterflies. 

Give yourself the best that you can ever provide.

#np: March's Playlist

Wow sorry for the uber late playlist update.

I just applied for college, and it starts in like 15 days. Gawd I cannot wait! Super duper excited!

Now, cue the music!

Resurrect - Lake Komo

Vibes - Chase Atlantic

Friends - Little Sea

Atlantis - Seafret

Firebird - Galantis

Fast Car - Jonas Blue ft. Dakota

Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

Let it soar through your veins. ;)

C.

Believe.

Trust me, I have no options left.

Oh wow, results are out.

Feeling so giddy.

I'm slowly taking it in. 

I never thought I'd get straights.

I prayed, I believed in God.

I believed in the possibility of it.

Though there was always an uncomfortable hint of doubt in my faith,

but I kept believing anyway.

Thanks to God, thanks to caffeine, thanks to all the midnight oil I burned, 

thanks to whoever and whatever gave me the motivation and spirit to fight through that exam.

Gosh, I still remember the headache. 

Headache derived from being sleep deprived. 

I remember my eyes were closing when I was writing my essay.

 It's long over, phew.

Now, I'm stressing, rushing, finding out about all types of scholarships.

About where I can go, what I can do.

A lot of doors are open now.

I'm an indecisive person, and that calls for stress.

But what can I complain.

It's such a privilege, and an honor to be able to have this stress.

I couldn't ask for more.

I really couldn't.

It's the best gift of all.

In the morning my friends were planning to go for breakfast before going to school to take our results,

so I told my dad I'll go myself, with my friends I mean.

Then an hour later he called.

Said my teacher called.

Said I, with my parents, had to be there earlier.

Said I got straights.

I thought he lied, just so that he could take me there.

Then my friend texted me.

Said there's one person who got straights in my class.

Said that was me.

I was over the moon.

But I wasn't quite sure yet.

Never quite sure until I looked at the result slip myself.

I wore shorts.

They told me to go back home and change.

So then grumpy me went home and changed into a pair of jeans.

I went back.

They kept telling me to go to the office, then out, then in, then out again. 

I was frustrated. 

I was like wtf

My friends were all chatting around, discussing about their results.

I couldn't. 

I had to wait for them to call my name, take a photo, and another one.

It was all great, not to be mistaken.

So after all the "commotion", I was released and was free to go home.

But I went out with my friends instead. 

We watched a movie, London Has Fallen.

Hmmm, not bad of a movie but could do better.

Went home and had a great Korean barbeque dinner with my parents. 

When meat's your only option, gladly accept it. 

I guess you can say the party begins when the sun goes down eh.

Not exactly, but I couldn't just throw away another great opportunity and excuse to have some fun right? 

So my voyage continued with my crew and we went for supper and of course some booze.  

With a cocktail called Flaming Lamborghini, and a bottle of Corona, my night was just exactly what I wanted. 

I couldn't ask for more. 

News traveled fast. 

Next day I went to work. 

Coworker was like "Let me take a photo with you."

Ahaha, and a photo we did take later on. 

 I've never been so honoured and stressed, and honoured to have this stress at the same time. 

I'm so grateful. 

Really. 

What's the next step? 

I don't know. 

But I'm sure it's going to be a good one. 

Great, in fact. 

No matter where I go. Here, other states or overseas. 

I promise to enjoy every single bit of the ups and downs and highs and lows I face. 

Well, I'll come out with lots of stories to tell. 

We all do don't we? ;) 

C. 

28 Feb.

Being mentally exhausted is more tiring than being physically exhausted. Damn.

When someone bullies you and you need to suck it up because the only person they bully is you. Ugh. My official mood spoiler.

I try not to take heart, and feign ignorance. Careful, I might bite back.

Ugh.

Thankfully there's a whole lot of people who treats me well enough to outweigh the hate that person is feeding me. Not that I accept it.

Making me a negative person. Ugh. Stop. Happy thoughts.

Also, thankfully friends have my back, at least. I need my dose of late night beer talk so so badly. I call it beer talk. It's drinking beer with good friends, integrated with the liberation of talking about anything I want. Which also equals to liberation in it's pure form, at least that's what I think.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a beer-talkaholic.
Not funny. I know I know.

Will you?

photo credit

Will you survive today? And if you will, will you survive tomorrow? What about the day after that? Will you be able to wake up and see your child's face, or tucking them into bed and end the night with a kiss on the forehead?

Will you survive, till your dad says goodbye, and all your hopes crashing into you, and down on your knees you realize how much those three words mean?

And after that will you still survive, till your dearest holds your hand, says he has no regrets, that you are a choice worth giving up everything for, like the day on the altar, saying the same thing decades later?

Will you survive, to walk through all the gates of the world, to jump without fear of falling, to embrace the cold winds and to say "I lived"?

And when your life flashes before you, are you brave enough to tell Death your time is not up yet, that the world has so much more to offer, that your life is only beginning and the soul isn't leaving before bathing in fountains from lands God has created? 

For a heart and mind, though small, can do extraordinary things. Should you truly possess the will to live, you will live. 

Writing with an ounce of humor and laziness.

Sometimes you gotta throw cautious to the wind, sometimes you gotta do it blindfolded.

Sometimes you gotta believe curiosity really killed the cat, sometimes you gotta believe that cats have nine lives.  

Sometimes you gotta think practical, sometimes, man just give it to fate and destiny.

Sometimes you gotta believe that it's your fault, sometimes you gotta believe it's others'.

Sometimes you got to believe no one is to blame, sometimes you got to believe everyone is to blame.

Sometimes you gotta discipline yourself for your faults, sometimes you gotta just pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug.

Sometimes hugs don't solve problems, but a friend told me that hugs definitely make you feel better.

Sometimes miscommunication sparks conflicts, sometimes damn, people just don't understand you.

Sometimes you feel a little lonely, sometimes you get a little weird,

sometimes you enjoy life, sometimes you just want to pause, rewind, replay.

Sometimes you feel like you need to do something because it's your life, sometimes you just need to go with the circumstances you are given and make the best out of it.

Sometimes people talk behind your back, sometimes people throw stones in your face,

sometimes you gotta learn to tune out the noise and maybe gather a bigger rock.

Sometimes you don't trust your friends because come on, we all know they'll give anything to get a big laugh out of you, but sometimes your friends can be the most accurate relationship-test-match-maker-stylist-period-stain-checker-hair-and-makeup-artist-advice-giver ever.

Sometimes the guy you meet at the newsstand every morning is the one you've been searching for, but there's also a chance that he's a serial rapist, so yeah just a heads up.

Chinese New Year 2016 + Quick Update

The clock struck twelve, and as my NCIS episode played on I got on my phone and sent all good wishes to friends and family.

Chinese New Year is a signification of great beginnings. Amidst the heavy rain that was washing away the bad of 2015, deafening firecrackers crackled, fireworks whistled and exploded with a myriad of colors before falling down like a star to the ground below.

The sky was instantly in a haze of smoke and air, and everyone in the neighborhood came out to take a breath of smoke and witness the sparkly sky before us. It was like giving a toast together, to the new year ahead.

Here's to a great year ahead. (insert beer jug cheers emoji)


I've made my resolutions. Again, health, safety and happiness. Simple.

I've never felt this way before, not knowing what exactly will happen this year.

For the past years, my routine has been the same: school. I'd go to school everyday regardless what year it was. Now that I have graduated, I don't know when college starts. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what course should I pursue in, what college should I go to, should I even go to college, what lifestyle do I want in the future, what college life do I want, what do I love to do, career outcomes, job salaries, goals and how to achieve them, and a lot of other unanswered questions.

Things will work out, they always do.


I remember going out at night and dad was like "Don't drink beer or anything, you never know what might happen to you." hahaha, I know I know, but I always end up drinking anyway. The best cocktail in life is a mixture of friends, drinks and a good long chat.

We organized another class trip, like last year and it was great.

Fast forward and the first week is over. Whew, time really does not rest, does it?

I've been slacking off the posts lately (and again), because I have work now. I've been teaching for a few weeks now, tutoring juniors who are a mere age younger than me. Also, I've gone to an interview for a job at a cafe, and wow I hope things go well. Work starts tomorrow so I'm exceptionally nervous now.

It feels like butterflies stuck on gum in my stomach. Not sure what that means, hmm kinda like nervous but excited.

Fingers crossed.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Love, C.

#np: February's Playlist

It's February! The most festive and fast-paced month of the year. The Lunar New Year, or commonly referred to Chinese New Year, is here again! Everyone is shopping, cleaning and setting things straight for new beginnings. Seriously I can hear my neighbors cleaning their front lawn everyday, they even put on a fresh coat of pain.

On to the music. 

Hymn For The Weekend - Coldplay ft. Beyonce

Pillow Talk - Zayn 

I Took A Pill In Ibiza - Mike Posner (SeeB remix)

New York City - The Chainsmokers

Baby Baby - Winner + Exit: E mini album

Wild Flower - Park Hyo Shin

Pay My Rent - DNCE

Trust - Justin Bieber

American Nights - Plain White Ts

Hymn For The Weekend is on repeat like crazy. I love the song, the music video is so beautiful, Beyonce looks stunning as always. 

Also, also, finally Winner has made a comeback! Their songs are awesome as always. I can't wait to see them perform live! Hope they'll go on many variety shows this year.

xx 

Cheers to a great year ahead!

Happy New Year!

Lots of love, C.

Gratitude.

Blurry duck-face v-sign shot. hehehe

I have learnt a lot these past few years and I am still learning new things every day. Whenever I learn how to look at the bright side of things and understand that time is better wasted on things that matter, I feel wiser and more fulfilled.

There is always this sense of gratitude in me, though sometimes hindered by negativity, and I want to take this time to fully absorb, appreciate, and thank all the lessons, the teachers of life, and everyone and everything else that made me who I am today.

I am just a normal girl, living a normal life, going through a normal process of growing up, on the outside. On the inside however I believe that I am different, living an interesting life and growing up with many different sights to see, and so do everyone else. Everyone is different, hold it, and let that fact shake you.

I have gone through depressions, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, but all these problems are not as big as someone else's. Sometimes we think that we had it the worst, but truth is there's no competition in this tragedy game. Everyone has different problems, and they are all very normal. The huge problem of problems is actually how you get yourself out of your problems. Right?

I want to thank my homies, besties, friends, peers whatever you want to call them. They talked me out of my depressions, told me sticking a finger down your throat isn't going to make you look better, constantly told me I am beautiful and don't need to change a thing, told me life is still a long way to go, told me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it did. I am stronger thanks to them, really.

I want to thank my mum for telling me to love someone who loves me more than he loves himself, and I'm passing that down. Everyone, always love someone who loves you more than they love themselves. I want to thank my dad for providing what's best for me, even if he's a little old school, what comes from the heart is always felt by the heart.

I want to thank family. Oh man, family. Family is love, ohana. They are the reason why I always look forward to weekends and weekends are inalienable to me. They taught me what family means, and how family love will always be warm and forgiving.

I want to thank my brother, for simply being a brother. His presence makes me feel like I'm not the only one in this boat. Like I said, family. It's not about the blood, no no, it's the love in our hearts that makes me want to protect and prioritize that golden bond.

I want to thank the people, not exactly same-age friends, but people I've met somehow who happens to give me emotional and mental strength. What do you call them? Nevermind. They have given me such great advice especially at this prime of time where I am at a crossroad leading to unsure futures. 

I know now what decision to make and what road to walk on thanks to these amazing people. God bless them all.

I want to thank all the experiences, the ups and downs I have been through. All the lessons learnt, all the struggles, all the rain and sunshine, all the successes and failures. If I did not go through what I went through, I won't be who I am today.

I want to thank God, for letting me have this life. For choosing me. They say God will only put you through things you can go through. I believe in that, strongly. Thank You for the opportunities, the road blocks, the challenges, and most importantly Your loving and helping hands. Religion has planted a seed in me so that I have faith in God and in everything I do. I feel more secure now, more trusting, more daring because I know God will put me through things I can go through.

It's been a great ride, and I am still on this thrilling rollercoaster. There are so many things I have yet to achieve. So many dreams, so many goals, so many empty boxes waiting to be checked. I cannot wait to go out and throw myself at the world. I want to know my limits, and know that I have none. I will live a life I will remember. That's a promise to myself.

Lastly, I'm writing this because these are the little things we should be grateful for. Stop for a moment and look at what you are given. It's not about how great of a life I've lived up till now, nor it is about the tragedies in my life. It is about giving thanks to life, to different colors of people and experiences, and basically everything in between. It's about appreciating the sources of the strength in you. It's about gratitude.

Give thanks to the little things, because the little things build up a big thing. That big thing is You.

Always grateful.
Love, and love again, C.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Night Concentrate Sleeping Pack (Review)

It's a rare case that I do reviews on my blog but lately I've been buying a lot of products and I decided why not I write up something about them! 

Also, before I buy skincare or beauty products I will and always will look up reviews about them on the net, and I will only buy them once I'm convinced it will do me good. 

ps: I am so so late to jump on this Sleeping Pack bandwagon.

I have read a lot of articles putting Neutrogena's Hydro Boost Night Concentrate and Laneige's Water Sleeping Pack into battle. I personally have never tried the latter product before, and I came across Neutrogena's in drugstores in Taiwan. I love the packaging, sorry, I'm a sucker for looks. (For products only, don't worry ;) ) Plus, I needed some intense moisturizing because the weather in Taiwan was super dry. 

It comes in a box with all the information you need, and inside is the star of the show with the cute jar and that shade of blue is ideally convincing. 

Hygiene wise, since it's in a jar and there is no spatula whatsoever provided, you need to dig the product with your bare fingers so make sure your hands are clean before making contact with product and face. 

I bought this at Watsons Taiwan (My favorite drugstore of all time) for 400++ NTD and here at Watsons Malaysia it's selling at RM 74 omggggg. So glad I bought it in Taiwan.

The mix: Water, Glycerin, Dimethicone, Cetearyl Olivate, Polyacrylamide, Sorbitan Olivate, Dimethicone/Vinyl Dimethicone Crosspolymer, Dimethiconol, Ethylhexylglycerin, Synntheic Beeswac, C13-14 Isoparaffin, Benzyl Alcohol, Dipotassium Glycyrrhizate, Laureth-7, Mennitol, Carbomer, Sodium Pareth-12, Sodium Hydroxide, Fragrance, Cl 77289, Potulaca Oleracea Extract, Tocopheryl Acetate, Magenesium Aspartate, Zinc Gluconate, Copper Gluconate, Cl 42090

It uses Progressive Release Technology and contains Vitamin E beads that dissolve into your skin to continuously release intense moisture throughout the night. 

I always have a hard time buying moisturizers because most of them have oily textures and clog my pores like heck so this one was a huge relief for me. It has a slightly thicker than water but lighter than lotion texture, more towards the watery side, and I'm in love with it. It doesn't feel oily at all, just right! 

It doesn't absorb into your skin immediately because it's a concentrated sleeping pack, that's perfectly understandable.  

The blue beads disappear when you blend it into your face, I'm guessing those are Vitamin E beads? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Fragrance wise, it has a nice subtle scent, kind of how water would smell if it smells good. Does that even make sense? 

If you expect it to do a little something extra, say brightening complexion or fading acne scars, be prepared to get disappointed but this product does a good job at keeping promises by doing what it claims to do: Moisturizing!

A little goes a long way! Apply it every night and I wake up to hydrated, smooth and soft skin. 

I sleep in an air-conned room, and it sucks the moisture out of my cells leaving my face dry every morning I wake up. After using this Sleeping Pack, it feels good to wake up with skin fresh to the touch.

On the contrary, night use, it works great but I ran out of moisturizer so I used this Night Concentrate during the day and it's too much for me. Even when I used only a little. My face feels oily after an hour and I have a frustrating urge to wipe it off. So girls (and boys), night use means night use aite? ;)

Overall, it's a great moisturizing product. I'll give it a 4/5. 

If we're not looking at the pricing here in Malaysia, would I buy it again? Definitely.

I would also love to try the day use Hydro Boost Gel-Cream since my moisturizer ran out, maybe I'll drop by the store one of these days. 

Till the next review.

Stay hydrated.

Love, C. 

See you when I see you.

If we could go back, I’m sure we’d do different things. Make different decisions. A tad bit more carefully, we’d appreciate the becoming of us. The becoming of who we used to be. At least I will. I hope you will.

We made so many promises, all hidden away under layers and layers of dust. We buried them deep in little conversations we used to have. Late night talks of comfort poured over humor, tears and innocence. Talks, which will one day be dug up from deep beneath and nostalgia will carry us in its arms, shake us, and embrace us, as we fall in its control.

I hated to admit. I denied myself. I denied everyone. I ran away as far as I could in hopes you would come find me. In hopes you would miss me. Through time, when we come to face each other again, and my wounds reopen I’ll mean to ask you “Did you miss me?” I will want to, as my heart aches for your answer, my mouth will open and only whispers will push through.

In my heart you’re always so far away. I can never read what’s on your mind. You’re a code I can never decipher. I want to be the one you open your heart to. I want to. I am afraid, admittedly, of what I will do. I am afraid I will run once again. I am afraid I cannot stay.

Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s your life. Your life is my dream to live. Not entirely, but on the outside it seems so. I’m so confused. My mind is lying to me, I just don’t know which is right.

One day, I will let go. I will hear your name and feel nothing. I will look at your pictures and feel a sense of simple joy. The kind of joy when you see a friend. Till the time comes, I will hide you in gaps and corners in my writings. In my conversations, in every story I tell. Till the time comes, you will live through my art.

In every wish I make, we will live a life so great and leave a story to tell each other when you and I come to face again. I will tell you what I felt back when we were young teenagers, and you will tell me the same stories you have told all over again, and I will listen with a different heart and have a different understanding of them.

What I always say, “See you when I see you.”

See you.

C.

Wanderlust

Photo credit: We Heart It

We're trapped in a small city got nowhere to go. 

Where city lights are dim and buildings are just that tall. 

We kept our hopes up high thinking bout' conquering the world.

With young blood running through our veins, we thought anything was possible. 

We dreamt of brick pavements and medieval streets. 

Walking side by side with nothing to worry.

But we're just trapped in a small city.

Too young too be talking about waiting for "we"

We're still scratching our heads wondering,

Whether to choose us, or our dreams.

But it was never up to us to make decisions.

It was never really that easy.

We're just children.

Of people who're introverts to the world. 

Sometimes faith is merely a consolation.

What we need is real actions.

But we're still trapped in a small city.

Talking loud and trying to break free.

Do you want to be beautiful?

Photo credit: thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com

We decide what is pretty, or beautiful. It's entirely up to ourselves.

Nothing can truly define beauty. You and I both know that.

I look inside the mirror and sometimes I don't like the way I look. Especially on mornings, when I wake up. I see my arms and thighs a tad bit larger than yesterday, I see a layer of skin coming out under my chin, I see my face rounder and rounder the more I stare at it. I think a lot of people can relate to this. Truth is, it's all delusions. 

I mean, duhhh society has standards for beauty, but truth is, nobody really cares.

Really. Nobody cares.

I mean sure, if you don't look nice enough, there are always double standards. But again, it doesn't matter. 

Mentality is important, as long as you don't let negative things get to you.

Think about this.

You want to look pretty, but really, will people like you more if you're pretty. Yes, but not really that much at all. Maybe you're thinking "Hmm even just that little boost would be nice." Heh, you're not that shallow. You don't want to be that shallow.

What is pretty anyway? 

And what if you're pretty and people like you because you're pretty? Would you want people to like you just because you're pretty? Hell no. You don't want that.

Truth is, people will like you if you have a great personality. People will also like you if you have skills, or intelligence or just about anything that makes you stand out. People will like you if you have a character that outshines your appearance. Fixing your character, sculpting who you are, and being a better person takes you a longer way than facials and lipstick and a strict diet. 

Don't get me wrong, facials and makeup are fun. Diet for health and weight loss, that's cool. 

I'm talking about obsession over how you look. 

For weight loss, same goes to makeup, as long as you love yourself for how you look under all those clothing and foundation, deep into your bones through your skin and flesh. As long as you still love yourself, nude. 

I'm okay with how I look, but I do have plans to lose weight and tone my body up because it boosts my confidence when I have a great body. But I still don't mind how I look now, well maybe a little to be honest, but people around me don't mind me being a little flabby or having a double chin. They like me for who I am. 

That got me thinking what if they don't like me because I'm not exactly ideal or on par with their standards of beauty.Would I be okay? No. I'd be super depressed. But knowing there are people out there who will like you for who you are, and trust me there are people like that (like almost 80 percent of people considering 20 percent are psychopaths, I mean like real psychopaths, like mental patients) I won't want people to like me just because they like how I look. 

Can you understand what I'm saying? It's so messy. My train of thoughts is always jumbled up so everything I pen down is also jumbled up. No kidding. 

Point is...let me catch a breath...okay, point is, surround yourself with good and positive people. Think positive, have fun, be who you are. There are so many ways you can be with nice people, and there are so many ways of being beautiful. 

People who favour physical beauty more than what's on the inside will also one day love someone who is so much better on the inside than the outside. If not, they'd probably end up with an unhappy love life or marriage or life in general. Not cursing anyone, no offence, just putting up blunt assumptions which are pretty true. 

Do I make sense? I don't know where this is going. This is a shower thought tbt.

POINTS ARE:

5. Personality will always outweigh physical appearance. (on rare occasions the latter will win, but just on rare occasions. It won't matter. Pinky promise. ;) )

4. Don't let the negativity get to you.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

2. Be true to yourself, be who you are. 

1. You are beautiful, if you put your mind to it.  

How do I know this? Hah! Pretty girls don't know the things that I know. 

Just kidding. I planned this, lol, just wanted to use the line from Magnets - Disclosure ft. Lorde.

#SELFLOVE

Love, C.

Fairytales.

Photo credit: Tumblr

Golden wings fluttered gracefully,

And sparkles of gold on it's skirt.

It bellowed ever so quietly, 

Covered in grime-stained rags, a little girl. 

Hush, my dear you need not fret.

I am just a fairy stuck on this icky spiderweb.

A fairy? Oh my do they exist!

Only if you believe my dear, do you believe?

I do! I do! 

But Alice you would not call me.

Nor the rabbit did I see.

Glass slippers never grazed my feet.

Nor pumpkin a carriage it turned out to be. 

A true heart can see magical things.

Cure this cruel world the evil that it brings. 

Magical things you are sure to see.

Because a heart as true as yours,

can turn the world as fresh as the evening breeze.

#np: January's Playlist

Everytime I see Olly Alexander perform it's so cute and funny. Ahh, makes my day. Years and Years is one great band indeed. Gosh, Olly and Neil Milan are the cutest, hoping they're doing okay now. :(

Happy New Year! Omg, I can't believe it's 2016 already! Just kidding, it's actually pretty tangible.


It's a year of many becomings, and of course a new year to new musical discoveries! Lol, okay that was lame. Seriously though, I'm excited about new music, and rediscovering old ones as much as you and all the music junkies out there.


May these, and all, great tracks kick start your 2016 with a bang!

Bang Bang Bang - Big Bang

Just kidding. hehehe jokes aside.

Adventure Of A Lifetime - Coldplay

Headlights - Robin Schulz ft. Ilsey

Ocean Drive - Duke Dumont

Ease - Troye Sivan ft. Broods

Beautiful Escape - Tom Misch ft. Zak Abel

Stay - Kygo ft. Maty Noyes 

Middle - DJ Snake ft. Bipolar Sunshine

Easy Love - Sigala

A grand 2016 everyone! 

With all the love, C.