Gratitude.

Blurry duck-face v-sign shot. hehehe

I have learnt a lot these past few years and I am still learning new things every day. Whenever I learn how to look at the bright side of things and understand that time is better wasted on things that matter, I feel wiser and more fulfilled.

There is always this sense of gratitude in me, though sometimes hindered by negativity, and I want to take this time to fully absorb, appreciate, and thank all the lessons, the teachers of life, and everyone and everything else that made me who I am today.

I am just a normal girl, living a normal life, going through a normal process of growing up, on the outside. On the inside however I believe that I am different, living an interesting life and growing up with many different sights to see, and so do everyone else. Everyone is different, hold it, and let that fact shake you.

I have gone through depressions, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, but all these problems are not as big as someone else's. Sometimes we think that we had it the worst, but truth is there's no competition in this tragedy game. Everyone has different problems, and they are all very normal. The huge problem of problems is actually how you get yourself out of your problems. Right?

I want to thank my homies, besties, friends, peers whatever you want to call them. They talked me out of my depressions, told me sticking a finger down your throat isn't going to make you look better, constantly told me I am beautiful and don't need to change a thing, told me life is still a long way to go, told me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it did. I am stronger thanks to them, really.

I want to thank my mum for telling me to love someone who loves me more than he loves himself, and I'm passing that down. Everyone, always love someone who loves you more than they love themselves. I want to thank my dad for providing what's best for me, even if he's a little old school, what comes from the heart is always felt by the heart.

I want to thank family. Oh man, family. Family is love, ohana. They are the reason why I always look forward to weekends and weekends are inalienable to me. They taught me what family means, and how family love will always be warm and forgiving.

I want to thank my brother, for simply being a brother. His presence makes me feel like I'm not the only one in this boat. Like I said, family. It's not about the blood, no no, it's the love in our hearts that makes me want to protect and prioritize that golden bond.

I want to thank the people, not exactly same-age friends, but people I've met somehow who happens to give me emotional and mental strength. What do you call them? Nevermind. They have given me such great advice especially at this prime of time where I am at a crossroad leading to unsure futures. 

I know now what decision to make and what road to walk on thanks to these amazing people. God bless them all.

I want to thank all the experiences, the ups and downs I have been through. All the lessons learnt, all the struggles, all the rain and sunshine, all the successes and failures. If I did not go through what I went through, I won't be who I am today.

I want to thank God, for letting me have this life. For choosing me. They say God will only put you through things you can go through. I believe in that, strongly. Thank You for the opportunities, the road blocks, the challenges, and most importantly Your loving and helping hands. Religion has planted a seed in me so that I have faith in God and in everything I do. I feel more secure now, more trusting, more daring because I know God will put me through things I can go through.

It's been a great ride, and I am still on this thrilling rollercoaster. There are so many things I have yet to achieve. So many dreams, so many goals, so many empty boxes waiting to be checked. I cannot wait to go out and throw myself at the world. I want to know my limits, and know that I have none. I will live a life I will remember. That's a promise to myself.

Lastly, I'm writing this because these are the little things we should be grateful for. Stop for a moment and look at what you are given. It's not about how great of a life I've lived up till now, nor it is about the tragedies in my life. It is about giving thanks to life, to different colors of people and experiences, and basically everything in between. It's about appreciating the sources of the strength in you. It's about gratitude.

Give thanks to the little things, because the little things build up a big thing. That big thing is You.

Always grateful.
Love, and love again, C.