Edge of Seventeen

I watched Edge of Seventeen and it's so good! I cried so hard, it wasn't even that sad but I did anyway. It took me back to a lot of places emotionally, because I've struggled with friends and boys before (I mean, come on, we all have) and it was kind of similar to my case (just a whole lot different) and it's just really relatable for me. 

I'm not good at writing summaries/synopsises so go watch it I promise it's good. 

In the movie Nadine (Hailee Steinfeld) says she's an old soul, and that people her age have nothing in common with her (she's 17 btw). I feel the same way too, I have trouble finding people that I can truly bond with. I'm weird, I say random things, I have a weird sense of humour and people find me...weird. 

Also, Nadine says that some deranged part of her keeps thinking that she's the only one with real problems and that she realises she's not. As much as I hate to admit, yes we all have our own demons to face and like it or not, we're not the only ones who have problems. I've seen people comparing who's had it the worst and that's just not right. There's no winning in this tragedy game, it's not a race. It's an individual process, and each problem we face shouldn't be looked down on just because someone is 'having it worst' than us. 

Everyone is trying to heal in various different ways and quote from one of my favorite writers, Nikita Gill "healing is not horizontal, and I am allowed to take my time." 

I'm saying this because Nadine has her demons, and she's on her own journey to healing (I sound like a spiritual healing master rn). I love how the movie flows, how she realises that her internal conflict with herself is causing external conflict with the world around her. And she fixes herself, by getting hurt and hurting others in the process, and saying sorry which is one word most of us can't bring ourselves to say.

While Nadine has a huge crush on a guy she thinks is hot (but I think not), she meets Erwin from her history class (yay romance!) who has a crush on her, and later she realises that Erwin is a great guy (it doesn't show that they fall in love and live happily ever after but they better be). 

Be yourself. Do you and the right people will come to you. As cheesy as that sounds, it's the truth. 

We have our own ideal type of guy or girl, or even friend. Oftentimes, those set of 'rules' are built shallowly on the surface. It's mostly based on looks, and maybe a mixture of common good traits like kindness, selflessness and so on. And when that 'ideal' person comes into your life, you start to see their 'flaws' like how they look when they eat, how they laugh, what they laugh at, their background, their culture, their lifestyle, and you start to wonder a bunch and everything doesn't turn out right. See, we don't consider the details (and we never should) and when you think someone is right for you, they often aren't.

My point is, just be yourself. Ditch those 'ideal' set of rules, and just do you. The right person will step into your life, breaking all the rules, but you'll find them better than any other. 

PS: Blake Jenner is hawt. At first he looked familiar and then I realised he was in Glee. He turned out hawwttt. 

Haymitch is also in the movie, as funny as ever! 

Go watch it please. :)))

C.

Langkawi and Koh Lipe

This year started off pretty well, because I got to travel before anything else. I went, for a week, to Langkawi then over to Koh Lipe in Thailand. I was so awestruck by the sparkling blue sea in Langkawi and even more so in Koh Lipe. The waters were magnificent, and it felt magical to be there too.

I travelled with my mum, uncle and two of his friends. His friends were two of the dopest women I have ever met. They are hilarious, and so young at heart. We ended up spending lots of time chasing birds and waterfalls due to their passion for such interests. I’m glad I got to travel with them, it was an honour.   

Langkawi felt like a hidden treasure waiting for me to discover. It sat there below us in the plane, all in its glory and its archipelago of islands sang out to my heart. We touched down, rented a car and off on a country road we went to what would be my first cable car ride ever. The cable car itself, or SkyCab as they call it, wasn’t much of a thrill, but the view was breathtaking.

Far into the horizon you can see little islands sprouting like mushrooms and boats languidly sailing away, and beneath all of them was the shining blue sea. Then the waters grew into hills of green and just like that nature has surprised me once again. We also took a stroll across the Sky Bridge and again it wasn’t any bit thrilling but the view again, the view was spot on.

I really love the roads here, they’re lined with village houses and paddy fields, and the song ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ immediately came to mind. Here, the duty free shops are dope. We bought alcohol and chocolates like there was no tomorrow. They sell a lot of Thai food here, but we didn’t get any. To be honest, most of the meals here we just ate instant noodles (It just happened to be that way).

Koh Lipe felt like a small piece of heaven on earth. It was as if the edges of heaven crumbled a little and fell to earth, and Koh Lipe it was formed. I'd come to realise, after a stay of four days, that 'koh' means island, so Koh Lipe means Lipe Island. The place has limited selection of vehicles, most are motorcycles and the taxis are carriages attached to the motorcycles. Walking to get around was a common thing, and walking with minimal clothing on was even more common. Girls wore bikinis everywhere, on the beach, in shops, everywhere and guys, the only shirt they wore was skin (and maybe a little bit of chest hair ahem). My mum, who complains when I wear shorts out at night, even agreed to buy me a bikini and had no problem when I wore it to snorkeling. (Wearing a bikini taught me a whole different level of lessons, but that will be for another day.)

I really enjoyed leisurely walking down the streets with beer in hand (it was cider actually), and dining by the beach with couple bottles of Chang beer (Chang beer is delicious!) watching the westerners (ang mohs as we would say) sun-bathed under the hot glaring sun. I felt so at peace, and when I dug around my mind to find those little worries I constantly think about, I found none. There could not be possibly anything to worry about at that moment, and it felt so nice. After all the stress of college and life, it honestly felt so serene in my mind. 

We signed up for their snorkeling package and off we went on a boat to underwater paradise. It was so much fun jumping off the boat (trust me that part was fun), and watching the marine life under your nose (literally) was beautiful. For a second I wished I lived under the sea. We even went to see the bioluminescent plankton and it wasn't as beautiful as I'd expected but it was still awesome anyway.

One thing I had a problem with was their food. I don't like spicy food, and when you go to Thailand you kinda have no choice. I ended up having lots of barbeque, and that was great UNTIL I GOT FOOD POISONING. You know what's the funny thing? When I googled food poisoning after vomiting for the second time, the first thing google gave me was 'food poisoning in THAILAND'. Well that explains alot! It's apparently a common thing in Thailand. My mum, me and my uncle, all got food poisoning because we ate the barbecue pork sticks and grilled chicken. We wasted one whole day sleeping and feeding the toilet with vomit and diarrhea when we actually planned to shop and do some thai massage because it was our last day there! The end was a bummer, but all in all it was a wonderful trip.

side note (as if the post wasn't long enough): The photos aren't of good quality because I didn't have a camera with me and I took all of them with my phone. (then again why am I explaining this)

Hope ya'll have a great year! 

Make mistakes.

 

This is my motto for the year. To push myself and to not be afraid of making mistakes. I want to try things I've never done before, and it doesn't necessarily need to be about new activities but also taking my emotions to a new level. Exploring new feelings. Breaking down my wall of insecurities brick by brick.

I say this to myself every year, I know that, but every year there's always newer things to try, and newer places to explore. I hope I will always have this spirit, and I hope I'll always find inspiration to rekindle my adventurous soul when it loses its flames.

I'm really afraid to be honest, of what's to come in the future. What if when I join the workforce and never have the time for adventures? What if I become tamed by society and its norms? What if I believe when people tell me to "act my age", whatever that means.

I don't hope to not lose myself, I just hope I can always find myself.

The start of this year I'm doing new things, volunteering for events and meeting people. It's really interesting to watch them open up to you as you open up to them. I think that's the beauty of connection. I can feel myself being more confident, and just being more...okay. I'm being more okay with people.

So I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to live unapologetically. I'm going to go with what makes me happy. I'm going to step out of that box I built around myself, and I'm going to fly without my bubble.

I'm going on a journey, to find a stronger self.  

A book, a song, and some strong feelings.

 

I've been reading My Heart and other Black Holes and it's such an addictive read. The way two suicidal teenagers fall in love and save each other sparks something in me, and it makes me want their romance albeit going through all that depression again.

See that's the thing about YA romance novels. They make me jealous, I want that kind of luck too. Although I'm pretty sure in this novel the characters wouldn't think that they're lucky, because going through shit never feels lucky. I guess I think that they're lucky because I'm reading the book and seeing a bigger picture, because it's easy to foresee what will happen next, and also it's easy to predict the end of the story. 

I have a sudden urge to visit the UK after listening to Ed Sheeran's new single Castle on the Hill. I've always been a fan of Ed Sheeran, and I've always been a sucker for lyrics that are honest and real and heartfelt. Also, I've always wanted to visit the British countryside, with green pastures and brick pavements and castles and medieval landscapes. 

And to combine all of these in one song. Nothing could've been better. Have you ever listened to a song and you just want it to end quickly because if you kept listening you feel your heart might explode? Every single time I hit replay, as fast as I wish I had stopped. 

Even though I'm always home, never going anywhere, always here, it makes me want to go home. I'm not quite sure how it makes sense too. It makes me want to grow up all over again, and it makes me cherish those who have helped me grow. It makes me miss my parents even though I see them everyday and it makes me miss the friends I've made and lost, and the memories we shared together. 

I miss watching the sunset over the castle on the hill.

C. 

Starting Over

I haven't been blogging in the past year, because there wasn't anything interesting and I guess I lost my passion, but now I miss writing here on this white canvas I treasured so dearly and I want to start blogging again. 

This break took a toll on me, I couldn't pen my thoughts well, nor could I use my words well. I'm starting to get rusty and I really don't like being this way. 

Reading my old posts was fun, it made me feel younger. It took me back to the days, and it made me feel again. Being able to feel is good, and feelings are really important to me.

I want to write again. I want to feel again through my words. I want to start blogging again. I want to document my life, my ups and downs and everything else in between. (cue justin bieber song)

I'm coming back, slowly, baby steps.

This is such a random post, with random sentences and words.

But I'm coming back.

:)

June 16

Who says you need to be something at 18, or at any age at all. Who says you need to sit a little straighter, laugh a little quieter, think a little further, and work a little harder just because you're at a specific age. Age is a concept people created. Youth is what we feel, and if we believe that feeling enough to let it engulf us, we become what we feel.

In Two Weeks

In two weeks you leave,

on a plane to somewhere my hands too short to reach.

In two weeks, I shall completely let you go.

I shall move on because you are no longer mine for the taking.

You were never mine to own.

In these two weeks I shall mourn,

for my heart is in pain,

but I know it is about to take a new shape.

A stronger one, a liberating one.

I shall spend the best last moments with you,

and cherish it and keep it close to me.

For you are different, you are something.

And after you are gone,

I shall miss you from time to time,

and my heart shall call out to you,

and I shall reminisce the afternoons we spent together.

I shall remember you as someone who came into my life

and taught me things I never thought were possible.

After two weeks, I shall look over to my side,

and hope that you are there,

and know that you are not,

but I shall not feel any pain.

Only longing, that shall fade with time,

only to leave behind great memories,

and that is what I shall always feel 

when I look at the empty seat beside me.

And after all that, I shall wish you the best,

with every ounce of sincerity in me.

So that both of us can live a great life,

to tell each other when we meet,

like no one ever left and time never passed.

In the meantime, I shall keep you closer.

I shall make up for my wrongdoings,

and forgive yours.

I shall let my heart breathe, slowly.

I shall see clearer, 

and know that everything that is happening,

is for the better.

In the end, you'll just be another boy I've loved before.

May 11

I crashed a car.

One day after I got my driving licence.

I freaking crashed a car.

Way to go, Celine, way to go.

I hit the pavement, hard.

It was near evening, sun was setting.

The rays were piercing, I couldn't see.

Everything was a blur.

I was wondering why the other car was going the other way, and next thing I know, bam!

I felt everything falling down on me.

It's like in that flash of a moment you think you're going to die, pictures of horrible car accidents flashing through your mind, but you're not. You're alive. I'm alive. The car was still moving.

I felt helpless, I felt extremely scared and disturbed, I wanted to just cry and be at home.

My friend was calm af, ahaha.

I pulled the car over at the next block.

I came to my senses, the dashboard came out. Damn.

We got a flat tire, and something broke beneath the car. The pavement soon to be a mess of brake fluid.

My friend called her mum, and through her network she got some people to help us.

Everything went by quickly, and I was home safely next.

I'm thankful I'm safe, not even a tad bit injured.

I'm thankful. 

This experience shall make me a better driver, I guess.

Thank God. 

May 08

I've come a point where I'm tired and I don't really care about the fact that my life can coincide with a lot of people. I'm done worrying about how others see me. No more questioning myself if I'm living someone else's life. The people who matter don't mind. In the end, it's still my life. Go big, or go home. 

Fourth Week.

Four weeks in college.

Time never flew so fast before.

Tuesday and I'm already complaining. 

It felt like yesterday,

getting lost in the hallways,

trying out cafeteria food,

taking every overwhelming bit of change in,

and now I'm eased in.

Four weeks in college,

a lot of things are happening.

Apart from quizzes, projects, and assignments all is well.

I hardly have the time to myself.

I hardly have the time to sit back without worrying about the next project,

or the next test, or the next stressful thing that's going to happen.

I guess that's college life.

Four weeks in college.

I've learned to pick my circles.

To keep my guard up, my walls higher.

I've learned that my life shouldn't be an exhibition.

It's not a gallery. 

It's not for anyone to enter.

Not everyone can connect my dots.

Four weeks in college.

I'm transitioning between the lines of old and new.

I've learned that if you want something, go and get it.

Sometimes I refuse to believe,

I refuse to question why I'm here.

What am I doing?

Why? For what?

Deep down I know I can be a part of something bigger.

I believe I am a part of something big.

We all are.

Four weeks in college,

the fifth is on it's way.

There are more weeks to come,

and more to go.

What is prominent and essential will always work out.

At least that's what I believe in.

Always have faith,

Love, C.

Preach.

Never settle for the least. Never settle for just the company, the reassurance, and the safety. 

Never negotiate with your feelings, and take the cheaper. 

What you want, who you are and who you want to become, you know that, then manifest in that. 

If you are happy with who you are, then be you. Just keep being you. 

Never settle for someone who's perfect in your eyes but only your flaws in theirs. 

Never fall for someone who weighs your rights and wrongs. 

Love someone who loves you more than they love themselves, someone who will accept you for who you are. 

Someone who traces your scars, and breathes you in deep like a work of art. 

Never give yourself up, and in to someone who will eventually change you into someone you're not. 

Set your priorities straight, your mind, life and well-being comes first no matter what. 

You are the painter and the art. You are the sculptor and the sculpture. You have every right to choose what you want for yourself, and don't ever let anyone take that away from you. 

People will understand who you are, and those who don't don't really know who you are then. 

Never throw yourself at people. Believe in the "meant-to-be"s. Keep your head up and high. Settle for the best, settle for the "all bites and no barks", settle for pure happiness and joy and love and butterflies. 

Give yourself the best that you can ever provide.

#np: March's Playlist

Wow sorry for the uber late playlist update.

I just applied for college, and it starts in like 15 days. Gawd I cannot wait! Super duper excited!

Now, cue the music!

Resurrect - Lake Komo

Vibes - Chase Atlantic

Friends - Little Sea

Atlantis - Seafret

Firebird - Galantis

Fast Car - Jonas Blue ft. Dakota

Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

Let it soar through your veins. ;)

C.

Believe.

Trust me, I have no options left.

Oh wow, results are out.

Feeling so giddy.

I'm slowly taking it in. 

I never thought I'd get straights.

I prayed, I believed in God.

I believed in the possibility of it.

Though there was always an uncomfortable hint of doubt in my faith,

but I kept believing anyway.

Thanks to God, thanks to caffeine, thanks to all the midnight oil I burned, 

thanks to whoever and whatever gave me the motivation and spirit to fight through that exam.

Gosh, I still remember the headache. 

Headache derived from being sleep deprived. 

I remember my eyes were closing when I was writing my essay.

 It's long over, phew.

Now, I'm stressing, rushing, finding out about all types of scholarships.

About where I can go, what I can do.

A lot of doors are open now.

I'm an indecisive person, and that calls for stress.

But what can I complain.

It's such a privilege, and an honor to be able to have this stress.

I couldn't ask for more.

I really couldn't.

It's the best gift of all.

In the morning my friends were planning to go for breakfast before going to school to take our results,

so I told my dad I'll go myself, with my friends I mean.

Then an hour later he called.

Said my teacher called.

Said I, with my parents, had to be there earlier.

Said I got straights.

I thought he lied, just so that he could take me there.

Then my friend texted me.

Said there's one person who got straights in my class.

Said that was me.

I was over the moon.

But I wasn't quite sure yet.

Never quite sure until I looked at the result slip myself.

I wore shorts.

They told me to go back home and change.

So then grumpy me went home and changed into a pair of jeans.

I went back.

They kept telling me to go to the office, then out, then in, then out again. 

I was frustrated. 

I was like wtf

My friends were all chatting around, discussing about their results.

I couldn't. 

I had to wait for them to call my name, take a photo, and another one.

It was all great, not to be mistaken.

So after all the "commotion", I was released and was free to go home.

But I went out with my friends instead. 

We watched a movie, London Has Fallen.

Hmmm, not bad of a movie but could do better.

Went home and had a great Korean barbeque dinner with my parents. 

When meat's your only option, gladly accept it. 

I guess you can say the party begins when the sun goes down eh.

Not exactly, but I couldn't just throw away another great opportunity and excuse to have some fun right? 

So my voyage continued with my crew and we went for supper and of course some booze.  

With a cocktail called Flaming Lamborghini, and a bottle of Corona, my night was just exactly what I wanted. 

I couldn't ask for more. 

News traveled fast. 

Next day I went to work. 

Coworker was like "Let me take a photo with you."

Ahaha, and a photo we did take later on. 

 I've never been so honoured and stressed, and honoured to have this stress at the same time. 

I'm so grateful. 

Really. 

What's the next step? 

I don't know. 

But I'm sure it's going to be a good one. 

Great, in fact. 

No matter where I go. Here, other states or overseas. 

I promise to enjoy every single bit of the ups and downs and highs and lows I face. 

Well, I'll come out with lots of stories to tell. 

We all do don't we? ;) 

C. 

28 Feb.

Being mentally exhausted is more tiring than being physically exhausted. Damn.

When someone bullies you and you need to suck it up because the only person they bully is you. Ugh. My official mood spoiler.

I try not to take heart, and feign ignorance. Careful, I might bite back.

Ugh.

Thankfully there's a whole lot of people who treats me well enough to outweigh the hate that person is feeding me. Not that I accept it.

Making me a negative person. Ugh. Stop. Happy thoughts.

Also, thankfully friends have my back, at least. I need my dose of late night beer talk so so badly. I call it beer talk. It's drinking beer with good friends, integrated with the liberation of talking about anything I want. Which also equals to liberation in it's pure form, at least that's what I think.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a beer-talkaholic.
Not funny. I know I know.

Will you?

photo credit

Will you survive today? And if you will, will you survive tomorrow? What about the day after that? Will you be able to wake up and see your child's face, or tucking them into bed and end the night with a kiss on the forehead?

Will you survive, till your dad says goodbye, and all your hopes crashing into you, and down on your knees you realize how much those three words mean?

And after that will you still survive, till your dearest holds your hand, says he has no regrets, that you are a choice worth giving up everything for, like the day on the altar, saying the same thing decades later?

Will you survive, to walk through all the gates of the world, to jump without fear of falling, to embrace the cold winds and to say "I lived"?

And when your life flashes before you, are you brave enough to tell Death your time is not up yet, that the world has so much more to offer, that your life is only beginning and the soul isn't leaving before bathing in fountains from lands God has created? 

For a heart and mind, though small, can do extraordinary things. Should you truly possess the will to live, you will live. 

Writing with an ounce of humor and laziness.

Sometimes you gotta throw cautious to the wind, sometimes you gotta do it blindfolded.

Sometimes you gotta believe curiosity really killed the cat, sometimes you gotta believe that cats have nine lives.  

Sometimes you gotta think practical, sometimes, man just give it to fate and destiny.

Sometimes you gotta believe that it's your fault, sometimes you gotta believe it's others'.

Sometimes you got to believe no one is to blame, sometimes you got to believe everyone is to blame.

Sometimes you gotta discipline yourself for your faults, sometimes you gotta just pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug.

Sometimes hugs don't solve problems, but a friend told me that hugs definitely make you feel better.

Sometimes miscommunication sparks conflicts, sometimes damn, people just don't understand you.

Sometimes you feel a little lonely, sometimes you get a little weird,

sometimes you enjoy life, sometimes you just want to pause, rewind, replay.

Sometimes you feel like you need to do something because it's your life, sometimes you just need to go with the circumstances you are given and make the best out of it.

Sometimes people talk behind your back, sometimes people throw stones in your face,

sometimes you gotta learn to tune out the noise and maybe gather a bigger rock.

Sometimes you don't trust your friends because come on, we all know they'll give anything to get a big laugh out of you, but sometimes your friends can be the most accurate relationship-test-match-maker-stylist-period-stain-checker-hair-and-makeup-artist-advice-giver ever.

Sometimes the guy you meet at the newsstand every morning is the one you've been searching for, but there's also a chance that he's a serial rapist, so yeah just a heads up.

Chinese New Year 2016 + Quick Update

The clock struck twelve, and as my NCIS episode played on I got on my phone and sent all good wishes to friends and family.

Chinese New Year is a signification of great beginnings. Amidst the heavy rain that was washing away the bad of 2015, deafening firecrackers crackled, fireworks whistled and exploded with a myriad of colors before falling down like a star to the ground below.

The sky was instantly in a haze of smoke and air, and everyone in the neighborhood came out to take a breath of smoke and witness the sparkly sky before us. It was like giving a toast together, to the new year ahead.

Here's to a great year ahead. (insert beer jug cheers emoji)


I've made my resolutions. Again, health, safety and happiness. Simple.

I've never felt this way before, not knowing what exactly will happen this year.

For the past years, my routine has been the same: school. I'd go to school everyday regardless what year it was. Now that I have graduated, I don't know when college starts. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what course should I pursue in, what college should I go to, should I even go to college, what lifestyle do I want in the future, what college life do I want, what do I love to do, career outcomes, job salaries, goals and how to achieve them, and a lot of other unanswered questions.

Things will work out, they always do.


I remember going out at night and dad was like "Don't drink beer or anything, you never know what might happen to you." hahaha, I know I know, but I always end up drinking anyway. The best cocktail in life is a mixture of friends, drinks and a good long chat.

We organized another class trip, like last year and it was great.

Fast forward and the first week is over. Whew, time really does not rest, does it?

I've been slacking off the posts lately (and again), because I have work now. I've been teaching for a few weeks now, tutoring juniors who are a mere age younger than me. Also, I've gone to an interview for a job at a cafe, and wow I hope things go well. Work starts tomorrow so I'm exceptionally nervous now.

It feels like butterflies stuck on gum in my stomach. Not sure what that means, hmm kinda like nervous but excited.

Fingers crossed.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Love, C.

#np: February's Playlist

It's February! The most festive and fast-paced month of the year. The Lunar New Year, or commonly referred to Chinese New Year, is here again! Everyone is shopping, cleaning and setting things straight for new beginnings. Seriously I can hear my neighbors cleaning their front lawn everyday, they even put on a fresh coat of pain.

On to the music. 

Hymn For The Weekend - Coldplay ft. Beyonce

Pillow Talk - Zayn 

I Took A Pill In Ibiza - Mike Posner (SeeB remix)

New York City - The Chainsmokers

Baby Baby - Winner + Exit: E mini album

Wild Flower - Park Hyo Shin

Pay My Rent - DNCE

Trust - Justin Bieber

American Nights - Plain White Ts

Hymn For The Weekend is on repeat like crazy. I love the song, the music video is so beautiful, Beyonce looks stunning as always. 

Also, also, finally Winner has made a comeback! Their songs are awesome as always. I can't wait to see them perform live! Hope they'll go on many variety shows this year.

xx 

Cheers to a great year ahead!

Happy New Year!

Lots of love, C.

Gratitude.

Blurry duck-face v-sign shot. hehehe

I have learnt a lot these past few years and I am still learning new things every day. Whenever I learn how to look at the bright side of things and understand that time is better wasted on things that matter, I feel wiser and more fulfilled.

There is always this sense of gratitude in me, though sometimes hindered by negativity, and I want to take this time to fully absorb, appreciate, and thank all the lessons, the teachers of life, and everyone and everything else that made me who I am today.

I am just a normal girl, living a normal life, going through a normal process of growing up, on the outside. On the inside however I believe that I am different, living an interesting life and growing up with many different sights to see, and so do everyone else. Everyone is different, hold it, and let that fact shake you.

I have gone through depressions, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, but all these problems are not as big as someone else's. Sometimes we think that we had it the worst, but truth is there's no competition in this tragedy game. Everyone has different problems, and they are all very normal. The huge problem of problems is actually how you get yourself out of your problems. Right?

I want to thank my homies, besties, friends, peers whatever you want to call them. They talked me out of my depressions, told me sticking a finger down your throat isn't going to make you look better, constantly told me I am beautiful and don't need to change a thing, told me life is still a long way to go, told me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it did. I am stronger thanks to them, really.

I want to thank my mum for telling me to love someone who loves me more than he loves himself, and I'm passing that down. Everyone, always love someone who loves you more than they love themselves. I want to thank my dad for providing what's best for me, even if he's a little old school, what comes from the heart is always felt by the heart.

I want to thank family. Oh man, family. Family is love, ohana. They are the reason why I always look forward to weekends and weekends are inalienable to me. They taught me what family means, and how family love will always be warm and forgiving.

I want to thank my brother, for simply being a brother. His presence makes me feel like I'm not the only one in this boat. Like I said, family. It's not about the blood, no no, it's the love in our hearts that makes me want to protect and prioritize that golden bond.

I want to thank the people, not exactly same-age friends, but people I've met somehow who happens to give me emotional and mental strength. What do you call them? Nevermind. They have given me such great advice especially at this prime of time where I am at a crossroad leading to unsure futures. 

I know now what decision to make and what road to walk on thanks to these amazing people. God bless them all.

I want to thank all the experiences, the ups and downs I have been through. All the lessons learnt, all the struggles, all the rain and sunshine, all the successes and failures. If I did not go through what I went through, I won't be who I am today.

I want to thank God, for letting me have this life. For choosing me. They say God will only put you through things you can go through. I believe in that, strongly. Thank You for the opportunities, the road blocks, the challenges, and most importantly Your loving and helping hands. Religion has planted a seed in me so that I have faith in God and in everything I do. I feel more secure now, more trusting, more daring because I know God will put me through things I can go through.

It's been a great ride, and I am still on this thrilling rollercoaster. There are so many things I have yet to achieve. So many dreams, so many goals, so many empty boxes waiting to be checked. I cannot wait to go out and throw myself at the world. I want to know my limits, and know that I have none. I will live a life I will remember. That's a promise to myself.

Lastly, I'm writing this because these are the little things we should be grateful for. Stop for a moment and look at what you are given. It's not about how great of a life I've lived up till now, nor it is about the tragedies in my life. It is about giving thanks to life, to different colors of people and experiences, and basically everything in between. It's about appreciating the sources of the strength in you. It's about gratitude.

Give thanks to the little things, because the little things build up a big thing. That big thing is You.

Always grateful.
Love, and love again, C.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Night Concentrate Sleeping Pack (Review)

It's a rare case that I do reviews on my blog but lately I've been buying a lot of products and I decided why not I write up something about them! 

Also, before I buy skincare or beauty products I will and always will look up reviews about them on the net, and I will only buy them once I'm convinced it will do me good. 

ps: I am so so late to jump on this Sleeping Pack bandwagon.

I have read a lot of articles putting Neutrogena's Hydro Boost Night Concentrate and Laneige's Water Sleeping Pack into battle. I personally have never tried the latter product before, and I came across Neutrogena's in drugstores in Taiwan. I love the packaging, sorry, I'm a sucker for looks. (For products only, don't worry ;) ) Plus, I needed some intense moisturizing because the weather in Taiwan was super dry. 

It comes in a box with all the information you need, and inside is the star of the show with the cute jar and that shade of blue is ideally convincing. 

Hygiene wise, since it's in a jar and there is no spatula whatsoever provided, you need to dig the product with your bare fingers so make sure your hands are clean before making contact with product and face. 

I bought this at Watsons Taiwan (My favorite drugstore of all time) for 400++ NTD and here at Watsons Malaysia it's selling at RM 74 omggggg. So glad I bought it in Taiwan.

The mix: Water, Glycerin, Dimethicone, Cetearyl Olivate, Polyacrylamide, Sorbitan Olivate, Dimethicone/Vinyl Dimethicone Crosspolymer, Dimethiconol, Ethylhexylglycerin, Synntheic Beeswac, C13-14 Isoparaffin, Benzyl Alcohol, Dipotassium Glycyrrhizate, Laureth-7, Mennitol, Carbomer, Sodium Pareth-12, Sodium Hydroxide, Fragrance, Cl 77289, Potulaca Oleracea Extract, Tocopheryl Acetate, Magenesium Aspartate, Zinc Gluconate, Copper Gluconate, Cl 42090

It uses Progressive Release Technology and contains Vitamin E beads that dissolve into your skin to continuously release intense moisture throughout the night. 

I always have a hard time buying moisturizers because most of them have oily textures and clog my pores like heck so this one was a huge relief for me. It has a slightly thicker than water but lighter than lotion texture, more towards the watery side, and I'm in love with it. It doesn't feel oily at all, just right! 

It doesn't absorb into your skin immediately because it's a concentrated sleeping pack, that's perfectly understandable.  

The blue beads disappear when you blend it into your face, I'm guessing those are Vitamin E beads? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Fragrance wise, it has a nice subtle scent, kind of how water would smell if it smells good. Does that even make sense? 

If you expect it to do a little something extra, say brightening complexion or fading acne scars, be prepared to get disappointed but this product does a good job at keeping promises by doing what it claims to do: Moisturizing!

A little goes a long way! Apply it every night and I wake up to hydrated, smooth and soft skin. 

I sleep in an air-conned room, and it sucks the moisture out of my cells leaving my face dry every morning I wake up. After using this Sleeping Pack, it feels good to wake up with skin fresh to the touch.

On the contrary, night use, it works great but I ran out of moisturizer so I used this Night Concentrate during the day and it's too much for me. Even when I used only a little. My face feels oily after an hour and I have a frustrating urge to wipe it off. So girls (and boys), night use means night use aite? ;)

Overall, it's a great moisturizing product. I'll give it a 4/5. 

If we're not looking at the pricing here in Malaysia, would I buy it again? Definitely.

I would also love to try the day use Hydro Boost Gel-Cream since my moisturizer ran out, maybe I'll drop by the store one of these days. 

Till the next review.

Stay hydrated.

Love, C.