28 Feb.

Being mentally exhausted is more tiring than being physically exhausted. Damn.

When someone bullies you and you need to suck it up because the only person they bully is you. Ugh. My official mood spoiler.

I try not to take heart, and feign ignorance. Careful, I might bite back.

Ugh.

Thankfully there's a whole lot of people who treats me well enough to outweigh the hate that person is feeding me. Not that I accept it.

Making me a negative person. Ugh. Stop. Happy thoughts.

Also, thankfully friends have my back, at least. I need my dose of late night beer talk so so badly. I call it beer talk. It's drinking beer with good friends, integrated with the liberation of talking about anything I want. Which also equals to liberation in it's pure form, at least that's what I think.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a beer-talkaholic.
Not funny. I know I know.

Will you?

photo credit

Will you survive today? And if you will, will you survive tomorrow? What about the day after that? Will you be able to wake up and see your child's face, or tucking them into bed and end the night with a kiss on the forehead?

Will you survive, till your dad says goodbye, and all your hopes crashing into you, and down on your knees you realize how much those three words mean?

And after that will you still survive, till your dearest holds your hand, says he has no regrets, that you are a choice worth giving up everything for, like the day on the altar, saying the same thing decades later?

Will you survive, to walk through all the gates of the world, to jump without fear of falling, to embrace the cold winds and to say "I lived"?

And when your life flashes before you, are you brave enough to tell Death your time is not up yet, that the world has so much more to offer, that your life is only beginning and the soul isn't leaving before bathing in fountains from lands God has created? 

For a heart and mind, though small, can do extraordinary things. Should you truly possess the will to live, you will live. 

Writing with an ounce of humor and laziness.

Sometimes you gotta throw cautious to the wind, sometimes you gotta do it blindfolded.

Sometimes you gotta believe curiosity really killed the cat, sometimes you gotta believe that cats have nine lives.  

Sometimes you gotta think practical, sometimes, man just give it to fate and destiny.

Sometimes you gotta believe that it's your fault, sometimes you gotta believe it's others'.

Sometimes you got to believe no one is to blame, sometimes you got to believe everyone is to blame.

Sometimes you gotta discipline yourself for your faults, sometimes you gotta just pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug.

Sometimes hugs don't solve problems, but a friend told me that hugs definitely make you feel better.

Sometimes miscommunication sparks conflicts, sometimes damn, people just don't understand you.

Sometimes you feel a little lonely, sometimes you get a little weird,

sometimes you enjoy life, sometimes you just want to pause, rewind, replay.

Sometimes you feel like you need to do something because it's your life, sometimes you just need to go with the circumstances you are given and make the best out of it.

Sometimes people talk behind your back, sometimes people throw stones in your face,

sometimes you gotta learn to tune out the noise and maybe gather a bigger rock.

Sometimes you don't trust your friends because come on, we all know they'll give anything to get a big laugh out of you, but sometimes your friends can be the most accurate relationship-test-match-maker-stylist-period-stain-checker-hair-and-makeup-artist-advice-giver ever.

Sometimes the guy you meet at the newsstand every morning is the one you've been searching for, but there's also a chance that he's a serial rapist, so yeah just a heads up.

Chinese New Year 2016 + Quick Update

The clock struck twelve, and as my NCIS episode played on I got on my phone and sent all good wishes to friends and family.

Chinese New Year is a signification of great beginnings. Amidst the heavy rain that was washing away the bad of 2015, deafening firecrackers crackled, fireworks whistled and exploded with a myriad of colors before falling down like a star to the ground below.

The sky was instantly in a haze of smoke and air, and everyone in the neighborhood came out to take a breath of smoke and witness the sparkly sky before us. It was like giving a toast together, to the new year ahead.

Here's to a great year ahead. (insert beer jug cheers emoji)


I've made my resolutions. Again, health, safety and happiness. Simple.

I've never felt this way before, not knowing what exactly will happen this year.

For the past years, my routine has been the same: school. I'd go to school everyday regardless what year it was. Now that I have graduated, I don't know when college starts. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what course should I pursue in, what college should I go to, should I even go to college, what lifestyle do I want in the future, what college life do I want, what do I love to do, career outcomes, job salaries, goals and how to achieve them, and a lot of other unanswered questions.

Things will work out, they always do.


I remember going out at night and dad was like "Don't drink beer or anything, you never know what might happen to you." hahaha, I know I know, but I always end up drinking anyway. The best cocktail in life is a mixture of friends, drinks and a good long chat.

We organized another class trip, like last year and it was great.

Fast forward and the first week is over. Whew, time really does not rest, does it?

I've been slacking off the posts lately (and again), because I have work now. I've been teaching for a few weeks now, tutoring juniors who are a mere age younger than me. Also, I've gone to an interview for a job at a cafe, and wow I hope things go well. Work starts tomorrow so I'm exceptionally nervous now.

It feels like butterflies stuck on gum in my stomach. Not sure what that means, hmm kinda like nervous but excited.

Fingers crossed.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Love, C.

#np: February's Playlist

It's February! The most festive and fast-paced month of the year. The Lunar New Year, or commonly referred to Chinese New Year, is here again! Everyone is shopping, cleaning and setting things straight for new beginnings. Seriously I can hear my neighbors cleaning their front lawn everyday, they even put on a fresh coat of pain.

On to the music. 

Hymn For The Weekend - Coldplay ft. Beyonce

Pillow Talk - Zayn 

I Took A Pill In Ibiza - Mike Posner (SeeB remix)

New York City - The Chainsmokers

Baby Baby - Winner + Exit: E mini album

Wild Flower - Park Hyo Shin

Pay My Rent - DNCE

Trust - Justin Bieber

American Nights - Plain White Ts

Hymn For The Weekend is on repeat like crazy. I love the song, the music video is so beautiful, Beyonce looks stunning as always. 

Also, also, finally Winner has made a comeback! Their songs are awesome as always. I can't wait to see them perform live! Hope they'll go on many variety shows this year.

xx 

Cheers to a great year ahead!

Happy New Year!

Lots of love, C.