Gratitude.

Blurry duck-face v-sign shot. hehehe

I have learnt a lot these past few years and I am still learning new things every day. Whenever I learn how to look at the bright side of things and understand that time is better wasted on things that matter, I feel wiser and more fulfilled.

There is always this sense of gratitude in me, though sometimes hindered by negativity, and I want to take this time to fully absorb, appreciate, and thank all the lessons, the teachers of life, and everyone and everything else that made me who I am today.

I am just a normal girl, living a normal life, going through a normal process of growing up, on the outside. On the inside however I believe that I am different, living an interesting life and growing up with many different sights to see, and so do everyone else. Everyone is different, hold it, and let that fact shake you.

I have gone through depressions, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, but all these problems are not as big as someone else's. Sometimes we think that we had it the worst, but truth is there's no competition in this tragedy game. Everyone has different problems, and they are all very normal. The huge problem of problems is actually how you get yourself out of your problems. Right?

I want to thank my homies, besties, friends, peers whatever you want to call them. They talked me out of my depressions, told me sticking a finger down your throat isn't going to make you look better, constantly told me I am beautiful and don't need to change a thing, told me life is still a long way to go, told me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it did. I am stronger thanks to them, really.

I want to thank my mum for telling me to love someone who loves me more than he loves himself, and I'm passing that down. Everyone, always love someone who loves you more than they love themselves. I want to thank my dad for providing what's best for me, even if he's a little old school, what comes from the heart is always felt by the heart.

I want to thank family. Oh man, family. Family is love, ohana. They are the reason why I always look forward to weekends and weekends are inalienable to me. They taught me what family means, and how family love will always be warm and forgiving.

I want to thank my brother, for simply being a brother. His presence makes me feel like I'm not the only one in this boat. Like I said, family. It's not about the blood, no no, it's the love in our hearts that makes me want to protect and prioritize that golden bond.

I want to thank the people, not exactly same-age friends, but people I've met somehow who happens to give me emotional and mental strength. What do you call them? Nevermind. They have given me such great advice especially at this prime of time where I am at a crossroad leading to unsure futures. 

I know now what decision to make and what road to walk on thanks to these amazing people. God bless them all.

I want to thank all the experiences, the ups and downs I have been through. All the lessons learnt, all the struggles, all the rain and sunshine, all the successes and failures. If I did not go through what I went through, I won't be who I am today.

I want to thank God, for letting me have this life. For choosing me. They say God will only put you through things you can go through. I believe in that, strongly. Thank You for the opportunities, the road blocks, the challenges, and most importantly Your loving and helping hands. Religion has planted a seed in me so that I have faith in God and in everything I do. I feel more secure now, more trusting, more daring because I know God will put me through things I can go through.

It's been a great ride, and I am still on this thrilling rollercoaster. There are so many things I have yet to achieve. So many dreams, so many goals, so many empty boxes waiting to be checked. I cannot wait to go out and throw myself at the world. I want to know my limits, and know that I have none. I will live a life I will remember. That's a promise to myself.

Lastly, I'm writing this because these are the little things we should be grateful for. Stop for a moment and look at what you are given. It's not about how great of a life I've lived up till now, nor it is about the tragedies in my life. It is about giving thanks to life, to different colors of people and experiences, and basically everything in between. It's about appreciating the sources of the strength in you. It's about gratitude.

Give thanks to the little things, because the little things build up a big thing. That big thing is You.

Always grateful.
Love, and love again, C.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Night Concentrate Sleeping Pack (Review)

It's a rare case that I do reviews on my blog but lately I've been buying a lot of products and I decided why not I write up something about them! 

Also, before I buy skincare or beauty products I will and always will look up reviews about them on the net, and I will only buy them once I'm convinced it will do me good. 

ps: I am so so late to jump on this Sleeping Pack bandwagon.

I have read a lot of articles putting Neutrogena's Hydro Boost Night Concentrate and Laneige's Water Sleeping Pack into battle. I personally have never tried the latter product before, and I came across Neutrogena's in drugstores in Taiwan. I love the packaging, sorry, I'm a sucker for looks. (For products only, don't worry ;) ) Plus, I needed some intense moisturizing because the weather in Taiwan was super dry. 

It comes in a box with all the information you need, and inside is the star of the show with the cute jar and that shade of blue is ideally convincing. 

Hygiene wise, since it's in a jar and there is no spatula whatsoever provided, you need to dig the product with your bare fingers so make sure your hands are clean before making contact with product and face. 

I bought this at Watsons Taiwan (My favorite drugstore of all time) for 400++ NTD and here at Watsons Malaysia it's selling at RM 74 omggggg. So glad I bought it in Taiwan.

The mix: Water, Glycerin, Dimethicone, Cetearyl Olivate, Polyacrylamide, Sorbitan Olivate, Dimethicone/Vinyl Dimethicone Crosspolymer, Dimethiconol, Ethylhexylglycerin, Synntheic Beeswac, C13-14 Isoparaffin, Benzyl Alcohol, Dipotassium Glycyrrhizate, Laureth-7, Mennitol, Carbomer, Sodium Pareth-12, Sodium Hydroxide, Fragrance, Cl 77289, Potulaca Oleracea Extract, Tocopheryl Acetate, Magenesium Aspartate, Zinc Gluconate, Copper Gluconate, Cl 42090

It uses Progressive Release Technology and contains Vitamin E beads that dissolve into your skin to continuously release intense moisture throughout the night. 

I always have a hard time buying moisturizers because most of them have oily textures and clog my pores like heck so this one was a huge relief for me. It has a slightly thicker than water but lighter than lotion texture, more towards the watery side, and I'm in love with it. It doesn't feel oily at all, just right! 

It doesn't absorb into your skin immediately because it's a concentrated sleeping pack, that's perfectly understandable.  

The blue beads disappear when you blend it into your face, I'm guessing those are Vitamin E beads? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Fragrance wise, it has a nice subtle scent, kind of how water would smell if it smells good. Does that even make sense? 

If you expect it to do a little something extra, say brightening complexion or fading acne scars, be prepared to get disappointed but this product does a good job at keeping promises by doing what it claims to do: Moisturizing!

A little goes a long way! Apply it every night and I wake up to hydrated, smooth and soft skin. 

I sleep in an air-conned room, and it sucks the moisture out of my cells leaving my face dry every morning I wake up. After using this Sleeping Pack, it feels good to wake up with skin fresh to the touch.

On the contrary, night use, it works great but I ran out of moisturizer so I used this Night Concentrate during the day and it's too much for me. Even when I used only a little. My face feels oily after an hour and I have a frustrating urge to wipe it off. So girls (and boys), night use means night use aite? ;)

Overall, it's a great moisturizing product. I'll give it a 4/5. 

If we're not looking at the pricing here in Malaysia, would I buy it again? Definitely.

I would also love to try the day use Hydro Boost Gel-Cream since my moisturizer ran out, maybe I'll drop by the store one of these days. 

Till the next review.

Stay hydrated.

Love, C. 

See you when I see you.

If we could go back, I’m sure we’d do different things. Make different decisions. A tad bit more carefully, we’d appreciate the becoming of us. The becoming of who we used to be. At least I will. I hope you will.

We made so many promises, all hidden away under layers and layers of dust. We buried them deep in little conversations we used to have. Late night talks of comfort poured over humor, tears and innocence. Talks, which will one day be dug up from deep beneath and nostalgia will carry us in its arms, shake us, and embrace us, as we fall in its control.

I hated to admit. I denied myself. I denied everyone. I ran away as far as I could in hopes you would come find me. In hopes you would miss me. Through time, when we come to face each other again, and my wounds reopen I’ll mean to ask you “Did you miss me?” I will want to, as my heart aches for your answer, my mouth will open and only whispers will push through.

In my heart you’re always so far away. I can never read what’s on your mind. You’re a code I can never decipher. I want to be the one you open your heart to. I want to. I am afraid, admittedly, of what I will do. I am afraid I will run once again. I am afraid I cannot stay.

Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s your life. Your life is my dream to live. Not entirely, but on the outside it seems so. I’m so confused. My mind is lying to me, I just don’t know which is right.

One day, I will let go. I will hear your name and feel nothing. I will look at your pictures and feel a sense of simple joy. The kind of joy when you see a friend. Till the time comes, I will hide you in gaps and corners in my writings. In my conversations, in every story I tell. Till the time comes, you will live through my art.

In every wish I make, we will live a life so great and leave a story to tell each other when you and I come to face again. I will tell you what I felt back when we were young teenagers, and you will tell me the same stories you have told all over again, and I will listen with a different heart and have a different understanding of them.

What I always say, “See you when I see you.”

See you.

C.

Wanderlust

Photo credit: We Heart It

We're trapped in a small city got nowhere to go. 

Where city lights are dim and buildings are just that tall. 

We kept our hopes up high thinking bout' conquering the world.

With young blood running through our veins, we thought anything was possible. 

We dreamt of brick pavements and medieval streets. 

Walking side by side with nothing to worry.

But we're just trapped in a small city.

Too young too be talking about waiting for "we"

We're still scratching our heads wondering,

Whether to choose us, or our dreams.

But it was never up to us to make decisions.

It was never really that easy.

We're just children.

Of people who're introverts to the world. 

Sometimes faith is merely a consolation.

What we need is real actions.

But we're still trapped in a small city.

Talking loud and trying to break free.

Do you want to be beautiful?

Photo credit: thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com

We decide what is pretty, or beautiful. It's entirely up to ourselves.

Nothing can truly define beauty. You and I both know that.

I look inside the mirror and sometimes I don't like the way I look. Especially on mornings, when I wake up. I see my arms and thighs a tad bit larger than yesterday, I see a layer of skin coming out under my chin, I see my face rounder and rounder the more I stare at it. I think a lot of people can relate to this. Truth is, it's all delusions. 

I mean, duhhh society has standards for beauty, but truth is, nobody really cares.

Really. Nobody cares.

I mean sure, if you don't look nice enough, there are always double standards. But again, it doesn't matter. 

Mentality is important, as long as you don't let negative things get to you.

Think about this.

You want to look pretty, but really, will people like you more if you're pretty. Yes, but not really that much at all. Maybe you're thinking "Hmm even just that little boost would be nice." Heh, you're not that shallow. You don't want to be that shallow.

What is pretty anyway? 

And what if you're pretty and people like you because you're pretty? Would you want people to like you just because you're pretty? Hell no. You don't want that.

Truth is, people will like you if you have a great personality. People will also like you if you have skills, or intelligence or just about anything that makes you stand out. People will like you if you have a character that outshines your appearance. Fixing your character, sculpting who you are, and being a better person takes you a longer way than facials and lipstick and a strict diet. 

Don't get me wrong, facials and makeup are fun. Diet for health and weight loss, that's cool. 

I'm talking about obsession over how you look. 

For weight loss, same goes to makeup, as long as you love yourself for how you look under all those clothing and foundation, deep into your bones through your skin and flesh. As long as you still love yourself, nude. 

I'm okay with how I look, but I do have plans to lose weight and tone my body up because it boosts my confidence when I have a great body. But I still don't mind how I look now, well maybe a little to be honest, but people around me don't mind me being a little flabby or having a double chin. They like me for who I am. 

That got me thinking what if they don't like me because I'm not exactly ideal or on par with their standards of beauty.Would I be okay? No. I'd be super depressed. But knowing there are people out there who will like you for who you are, and trust me there are people like that (like almost 80 percent of people considering 20 percent are psychopaths, I mean like real psychopaths, like mental patients) I won't want people to like me just because they like how I look. 

Can you understand what I'm saying? It's so messy. My train of thoughts is always jumbled up so everything I pen down is also jumbled up. No kidding. 

Point is...let me catch a breath...okay, point is, surround yourself with good and positive people. Think positive, have fun, be who you are. There are so many ways you can be with nice people, and there are so many ways of being beautiful. 

People who favour physical beauty more than what's on the inside will also one day love someone who is so much better on the inside than the outside. If not, they'd probably end up with an unhappy love life or marriage or life in general. Not cursing anyone, no offence, just putting up blunt assumptions which are pretty true. 

Do I make sense? I don't know where this is going. This is a shower thought tbt.

POINTS ARE:

5. Personality will always outweigh physical appearance. (on rare occasions the latter will win, but just on rare occasions. It won't matter. Pinky promise. ;) )

4. Don't let the negativity get to you.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

2. Be true to yourself, be who you are. 

1. You are beautiful, if you put your mind to it.  

How do I know this? Hah! Pretty girls don't know the things that I know. 

Just kidding. I planned this, lol, just wanted to use the line from Magnets - Disclosure ft. Lorde.

#SELFLOVE

Love, C.

Fairytales.

Photo credit: Tumblr

Golden wings fluttered gracefully,

And sparkles of gold on it's skirt.

It bellowed ever so quietly, 

Covered in grime-stained rags, a little girl. 

Hush, my dear you need not fret.

I am just a fairy stuck on this icky spiderweb.

A fairy? Oh my do they exist!

Only if you believe my dear, do you believe?

I do! I do! 

But Alice you would not call me.

Nor the rabbit did I see.

Glass slippers never grazed my feet.

Nor pumpkin a carriage it turned out to be. 

A true heart can see magical things.

Cure this cruel world the evil that it brings. 

Magical things you are sure to see.

Because a heart as true as yours,

can turn the world as fresh as the evening breeze.

#np: January's Playlist

Everytime I see Olly Alexander perform it's so cute and funny. Ahh, makes my day. Years and Years is one great band indeed. Gosh, Olly and Neil Milan are the cutest, hoping they're doing okay now. :(

Happy New Year! Omg, I can't believe it's 2016 already! Just kidding, it's actually pretty tangible.


It's a year of many becomings, and of course a new year to new musical discoveries! Lol, okay that was lame. Seriously though, I'm excited about new music, and rediscovering old ones as much as you and all the music junkies out there.


May these, and all, great tracks kick start your 2016 with a bang!

Bang Bang Bang - Big Bang

Just kidding. hehehe jokes aside.

Adventure Of A Lifetime - Coldplay

Headlights - Robin Schulz ft. Ilsey

Ocean Drive - Duke Dumont

Ease - Troye Sivan ft. Broods

Beautiful Escape - Tom Misch ft. Zak Abel

Stay - Kygo ft. Maty Noyes 

Middle - DJ Snake ft. Bipolar Sunshine

Easy Love - Sigala

A grand 2016 everyone! 

With all the love, C.