May 08

I've come a point where I'm tired and I don't really care about the fact that my life can coincide with a lot of people. I'm done worrying about how others see me. No more questioning myself if I'm living someone else's life. The people who matter don't mind. In the end, it's still my life. Go big, or go home. 

Fourth Week.

Four weeks in college.

Time never flew so fast before.

Tuesday and I'm already complaining. 

It felt like yesterday,

getting lost in the hallways,

trying out cafeteria food,

taking every overwhelming bit of change in,

and now I'm eased in.

Four weeks in college,

a lot of things are happening.

Apart from quizzes, projects, and assignments all is well.

I hardly have the time to myself.

I hardly have the time to sit back without worrying about the next project,

or the next test, or the next stressful thing that's going to happen.

I guess that's college life.

Four weeks in college.

I've learned to pick my circles.

To keep my guard up, my walls higher.

I've learned that my life shouldn't be an exhibition.

It's not a gallery. 

It's not for anyone to enter.

Not everyone can connect my dots.

Four weeks in college.

I'm transitioning between the lines of old and new.

I've learned that if you want something, go and get it.

Sometimes I refuse to believe,

I refuse to question why I'm here.

What am I doing?

Why? For what?

Deep down I know I can be a part of something bigger.

I believe I am a part of something big.

We all are.

Four weeks in college,

the fifth is on it's way.

There are more weeks to come,

and more to go.

What is prominent and essential will always work out.

At least that's what I believe in.

Always have faith,

Love, C.

Preach.

Never settle for the least. Never settle for just the company, the reassurance, and the safety. 

Never negotiate with your feelings, and take the cheaper. 

What you want, who you are and who you want to become, you know that, then manifest in that. 

If you are happy with who you are, then be you. Just keep being you. 

Never settle for someone who's perfect in your eyes but only your flaws in theirs. 

Never fall for someone who weighs your rights and wrongs. 

Love someone who loves you more than they love themselves, someone who will accept you for who you are. 

Someone who traces your scars, and breathes you in deep like a work of art. 

Never give yourself up, and in to someone who will eventually change you into someone you're not. 

Set your priorities straight, your mind, life and well-being comes first no matter what. 

You are the painter and the art. You are the sculptor and the sculpture. You have every right to choose what you want for yourself, and don't ever let anyone take that away from you. 

People will understand who you are, and those who don't don't really know who you are then. 

Never throw yourself at people. Believe in the "meant-to-be"s. Keep your head up and high. Settle for the best, settle for the "all bites and no barks", settle for pure happiness and joy and love and butterflies. 

Give yourself the best that you can ever provide.

#np: March's Playlist

Wow sorry for the uber late playlist update.

I just applied for college, and it starts in like 15 days. Gawd I cannot wait! Super duper excited!

Now, cue the music!

Resurrect - Lake Komo

Vibes - Chase Atlantic

Friends - Little Sea

Atlantis - Seafret

Firebird - Galantis

Fast Car - Jonas Blue ft. Dakota

Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

Let it soar through your veins. ;)

C.

Believe.

Trust me, I have no options left.

Oh wow, results are out.

Feeling so giddy.

I'm slowly taking it in. 

I never thought I'd get straights.

I prayed, I believed in God.

I believed in the possibility of it.

Though there was always an uncomfortable hint of doubt in my faith,

but I kept believing anyway.

Thanks to God, thanks to caffeine, thanks to all the midnight oil I burned, 

thanks to whoever and whatever gave me the motivation and spirit to fight through that exam.

Gosh, I still remember the headache. 

Headache derived from being sleep deprived. 

I remember my eyes were closing when I was writing my essay.

 It's long over, phew.

Now, I'm stressing, rushing, finding out about all types of scholarships.

About where I can go, what I can do.

A lot of doors are open now.

I'm an indecisive person, and that calls for stress.

But what can I complain.

It's such a privilege, and an honor to be able to have this stress.

I couldn't ask for more.

I really couldn't.

It's the best gift of all.

In the morning my friends were planning to go for breakfast before going to school to take our results,

so I told my dad I'll go myself, with my friends I mean.

Then an hour later he called.

Said my teacher called.

Said I, with my parents, had to be there earlier.

Said I got straights.

I thought he lied, just so that he could take me there.

Then my friend texted me.

Said there's one person who got straights in my class.

Said that was me.

I was over the moon.

But I wasn't quite sure yet.

Never quite sure until I looked at the result slip myself.

I wore shorts.

They told me to go back home and change.

So then grumpy me went home and changed into a pair of jeans.

I went back.

They kept telling me to go to the office, then out, then in, then out again. 

I was frustrated. 

I was like wtf

My friends were all chatting around, discussing about their results.

I couldn't. 

I had to wait for them to call my name, take a photo, and another one.

It was all great, not to be mistaken.

So after all the "commotion", I was released and was free to go home.

But I went out with my friends instead. 

We watched a movie, London Has Fallen.

Hmmm, not bad of a movie but could do better.

Went home and had a great Korean barbeque dinner with my parents. 

When meat's your only option, gladly accept it. 

I guess you can say the party begins when the sun goes down eh.

Not exactly, but I couldn't just throw away another great opportunity and excuse to have some fun right? 

So my voyage continued with my crew and we went for supper and of course some booze.  

With a cocktail called Flaming Lamborghini, and a bottle of Corona, my night was just exactly what I wanted. 

I couldn't ask for more. 

News traveled fast. 

Next day I went to work. 

Coworker was like "Let me take a photo with you."

Ahaha, and a photo we did take later on. 

 I've never been so honoured and stressed, and honoured to have this stress at the same time. 

I'm so grateful. 

Really. 

What's the next step? 

I don't know. 

But I'm sure it's going to be a good one. 

Great, in fact. 

No matter where I go. Here, other states or overseas. 

I promise to enjoy every single bit of the ups and downs and highs and lows I face. 

Well, I'll come out with lots of stories to tell. 

We all do don't we? ;) 

C.