My Experience With Allergies and IVs

Here's what happened. I was eating two bowls of seaweed and about 2 whole crabs when my eyes started drying up fast. I felt like I was shrinking, deprived of water and my body felt like it was burning up inside. My nose blocked and I still couldn't really breathe through my mouth. 

I thought it was dehydration though, don't know if it makes any sense. Because I was taking really high sodium food, and wasn't really drinking any water. So I kept repeating the process of emptying and refilling my bottle but still to no relief. I tried puking, popping some allergic meds but still nothing.  

At that point I looked like I was dying, lol. My eyes were red and swollen, eye bags were drooping and my face got really really pale. I finally told my mom after several failed attempts to save myself and she drove me to the nearest hospital. 

Next thing I know, I was lying on the hospital bed getting an IV shot. No drip, thank lord. 30 minutes passed and doc sent us home. Apparently I ate too much seafood, and overdose of iodine maybe? (obviously *facepalm*)

Overall? I felt like I got hit by a truck hahaha. It's my first time getting an allergy and an IV shot. 17 years of my life I've had more than my share of seafood and nothing happened to me. Why now whyyyyy? 

I guess it's a good thing though, at least now I know what an allergic reaction feels like (in a good way duh, I'm not a psycho) They said that the IV shot hurts but it was better than I had expected. It felt like a regular injection. 

Definitely worst than food poisoning, which I had for a streak of three years. 

Lesson learnt: Portion control.

And you know what's ironic? I read Daphne Charice's blog post about needles and stuff and who knows 3 hours later I'd end up in the hospital. Darn alignment of the universe, or is this karma? Maybe karma? What did I do though? Too many little sins maybe lol.

Take care. Remember, don't be a greedy arse and gobble up everything hahaha. (note to self) 

Love, xoxo C.

Compilation of drafts: I dreamt a dream.

I've been having really weird dreams lately. Like really really weird ones.

#1. Transgender guy posing for a cover of a magazine, nude.
WHAT IS THIS?!

#2 Crazy leopards going on killing everyone. It's like leopard apocalypse whattttttttttt.

Can I just blog on Dayre? I'm thinking on creating an account for it but I don't think I will update frequently tho.

//

A shell. A ghost town. A lost soul. Work-in-progress. Tired. Demotivated. Demotivated to breathe. To live. Wake up, repeat. On a loop. Dead routine. So hectic. Suffocating. Days, days go so slow. Yet not enough. Time is slipping through my knuckles. Slowly, gruellingly, fast. I can't.

Wrote this on one of those days, pfft. My friend said I just contradicted myself on the slowly, gruellingly, fast part. hahahaha

"...how their love for us shines a light on where we don't love ourselves."
I cried, while watching the drama I cried. I cried at everything. At the sad scenes, at my life, at the universe. Everything is just so sad. No it's not the drama, it has nothing to do with it. The drama was just an excuse. It's been some time now, feeling like this, like a shipwreck. I want badly, to melt myself into a puddle and tell the world I'm not okay.

Why is everything so sad? Yes, I write, more often than not, on my lowest days. Just to pen down my thoughts, because it becomes a burden if it's not off my chest. Aside from all the exam stress (which is really really stressful), I'm quite fine actually.

On signboards. In a cafe. A passerby. A cyclist in the rearview mirror.
I see him everywhere. He's intangible, forever beyond reach.
He mixed the stars, the night sky, the evening breeze, the milky way, the whole galaxy in a bowl and made it into fondant. Then like a cocoon, he wrapped himself up in his work of art.
He's beautiful.

So funny story. I met this guy, and I had this tiny crush on him. And girls being girls, we fantasize about how amazing the guy is and stuff like that so I wrote this tiny piece. But when I got to know him, I'm like mehh this is not what I expected. Don't throw curve balls at me! This should be dedicated to someone else. hahaha i'm so evil.

A room where desolated sighs turn into wails, but the people in there are strong.
They have to be.
Always be grateful. Always.
You never know. You can never predict the worst that can happen.
The word itself is so vague and it seems to me that nothing can ever be labelled "worst"
Your "worst" might just be the "best" that has ever happened to someone.
So don't judge, don't grumble.
Be thankful.
Always, always, always, be grateful.

I wrote this when my dear grandma was in the hospital. She has left us, as much as I'd like to deny. But I'm sure she's watching over us, and I know everything will be fine. Because she fought so hard, and nothing that is happening to me right now is harder than what she fought for. Love always.

I have not been able to read any books this year. I have three waiting for me to pick them up but I can't find the time. Not now, everything will happen after that bloody examination.

So excited for graduation. Can't wait to get out!

Be thankful, be grateful.
Love always, C.

#np: July's Playlist

It's July 20th so darn sorry. My schedule was so hectic I couldn't update my blog, but hell no I'm missing this. My jam for the month, mostly cover versions.

The Hills - The Weeknd (Fame On Fire Ft. Rain Paris & Arcaeus Cover)

She's so gorgeous, and that hair. Slurps.

Trip Switch - Nothing But Thieves

I'm starting to fall for them hahaha. Love this!

Chains - Nick Jonas (Midnight Red Cover)

This was powerful! Reminded me of Imagine Dragons.

Fight Song - Rachel Platten (Lovey James Cover)

Inspired.

Trap Queen - Fetty Wap (Lydia Paek Cover)

 

Lydia rules! 

Bright - Echosmith (Future Sunsets Cover)

I like this twist to the song. Instead of the sweet girl vocals in the original song, I like their vocals kinda like the ones in pop-rock bands. Makes sense? hahaha

So that's about it. Hope you liked it, i'll try to be more productive aite?

Love, C. 

Missing In Action

It has been decades since I've updated this place. I'm feeling really guilty but there's so much to settle right now.

It's already July and trials is a month away. SPM is 4 months away so I'm really focusing on my studies now.

I'm so stressed out, and I've been a little bit crazy because I have these suicide thoughts. Hahaha I'm fine. I still want to live lah.

Stress can kill. Now I understand.

It's so cramped up together yet so vague. Everything is so fast-forwarded but I'm really scared of what happens next you know?

Things will work out. They always do. ;)

I hope I can find time to write something relevant (not that my rants aren't relevant tho ;) ) up on the blog.

In the meantime, I will have to study my way out of 2015 I guess.

I'm still very very excited for graduation. Hahaha

Love, always. C.