Some April Rants

I just finished a movie called 有一个地方只有我们知道 (Somewhere Only We Know)

Kris is in it and HE IS HOT, PERIOD.

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I feel like everyone is so productive lately except me who really has nothing to do except studying. Got to step up my game, exams lining up like crazy. One year 7 months left and I am free from high school. I don't know what to pursue in the future, sigh, do well in exams and then we shall see.

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I am depressed. I've been trying to lose weight since the beginning of Nov 2014 and everything has gone well until one day I suddenly lost my motivation. It's like suddenly everything is so void and I keep running but I see no finish line. They say weight loss is an endless cycle, I guess that's true. 

I love my food and everyday is a constant battle between a freedom of choice and calorie restrictions and it's so depressing. "Love your body" I know. I know. But being skinny makes me happy and I like being happy. But eating makes me happy...temporarily. I can't think straight sometimes, and I splurge and ruin everything and I feel super guilty and depressed and it's a very ugly process. 

I know I have to be strong, mentally. I am trying and I know I can because I've been there and I know consistency is the key. Progress will lead to success. I will fight my inner demons and I will succeed in what I wish for. Well maybe what I wish for isn't going to make me happy in the end but it's worth the try. It's about challenging myself and knowing my limits and know that I have none. 

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I am strong, I am a warrior ninja. ;)

C.